Tag Archives: loss

I Don’t Want to Know

I don’t know if you ever betrayed my trust
I don’t know if I ever want to know There’s comfort in the unknown
There’s solitude in what I want to believe
I don’t want to know

I don’t want to know how I wanted to believe
How I wanted to believe that I wasn’t a fool
I don’t want to be a fool that trusted you
I don’t want to be the fool that lost you
I don’t want to be a fool
I don’t want to remember how much I needed to let you go
I don’t want to know

I saw you after and you looked so happy
That smile you wore was never for me
How could I even ask you to try again?
Ask you to lose that wonderful smile
I was glad you were so happy
I wanted you to be happy
I just wanted you to be happy with me
I wanted to be able to let you go
I didn’t want to know
I don’t want to know

You emptied my heart of desire for anyone but you
You showed me the truth of faith and the beauty in simplicity
I abandoned you for uncertainty and suspicion
I ran away
I didn’t know
I didn’t understand
I let go of your hand
But never let you know I still held it through the night
Until the breaking light of dawn
The light that will always be a reminder of what
I don’t want to know

I still loved you
I will always still love you

I didn’t want you to know
I don’t want you to know
I don’t want to know

Please check out my other blog, The Vinyl Jungle, dedicated to the love of vinyl records and record collecting.


Copyright © 2019 Mr. Flying Pig


Questions 4 and 6

Were you ready to leave or did I throw us away?
If I’d asked you about it would I have believed you anyway?
Questions I ponder every day

Does that little diamond still sparkle in your eyes?
If I asked you today, would you tell the truth or feed me lies?
Questions I try to analyze.

Do you know what you meant to me?
Do you realize what you helped me see?
Is what you meant to me ever what I meant to you?
Did I throw away a heart that was true?

Did you know I gave up all of my soul and my heart?
Did you know it’s what I felt inside right from the very start?
Questions that tear my soul apart.

When You Still Cared

Deep in the chasms of my soul a memory burns as bright as a gaslight
A memory of what guides me through the still of the darkest night
Though you did me wrong
Wherever my heart may wander
I will think of what we once had and do what I know is right

In memory of what we once shared
Back when you still cared

You were beyond my expectations of what I deserved in my life
Then you cut out my heart with deception of a red-hot knife
Because you did me wrong
I know I need to do better
I will remember what we once had
It will forever guide my life

A memory of what we once shared
Back when you still cared

The Smile

It’s what I keep inside
The smile that peeks through to the outside
As the daydream invades
The past and future the present evades

Not who I really am
Hiding in the rulebook from a God and lamb
Not what I really feel
Taught to never beg and leaned to never steal

The ballad of lament
Security in an elastic balloon
The debt of unpaid rent
Foolish pride is what always gives up too soon

The smile from what is gone
Not knowing if I was pauper, king or pawn
The daydream in the night
Looking past the smile promoting fight from flight

The smile’s foolish lament
Behind a smokescreen of confidence and pride
The smile that was once mine
The smile that melts a heart frozen, lost in time

Copyright © 2017 Mr. Flying Pig

So Long Ago Cast

I can forgive
It makes me a better man
I can learn to love again
I swear that I can
I can learn to forget you
Or at least I think I can

The wound ran deep
And maybe it had to
To make me realize
I could live without you
If you knew the tears I cried
What would your heart do

It’s too late for that
I know you don’t regret
The blade that cut through me
I will never forget
A scar that I’ll bear forever
Vulnerability never again let

Look into the future
Never let in from the past
Emotions that pass too slowly
Never meant to last
A heart forever burdened
By a stone so long ago cast

Copyright © 2017 Mr. Flying Pig

Like It Or Not

I lose my breath whenever I think of holding you
I keep my distance
I stay away
Far in the distance
Far away from you
Far away from me
Far away from what anyone can see
Far away from you and me

I’m graced by visions whenever I’m around you
Stay away from me
Just stay away
I won’t ever look back
Far away to you
Far away from me
Far away from whatever could be
Far away from you and me

I wish it could be different
I wish we could live the fairy tale
But fairy tales only end in heartache or tragedy
In the real world
And we both live in the real world
I never liked living in the real world
But it’s the world we both live in
Like it or not

It’s the world we both live in
Like it or not

Copyright © 2016 Mr. Flying Pig

What I Can’t Keep

Thinking too much
Delving too deep
Wanting to touch
Needing to sleep

Tonight the cactus is my dearest friend
Not much good for giving advice
But good for easing the turmoil inside
Put the needle in the groove and let it jam
In my heart the story will end
A sordid story of men and mice
Everything to lose and nothing to hide
Nothing to gain by you knowing who I am

Drinking too much
Diving too deep
So out of touch
Don’t say a peep

Tomorrow my head is sure to pound
Sometimes that’s the price to be paid
For yesterday’s long-buried memories
The ones that are destined to bury you alive
Don’t say a word or try to make a sound
Even the fearless sometimes feel afraid
Confronting what the conscience sees
Knowing it can’t attain what the heart strives

Weeping too much
Sinking too deep
Wanting to touch
What I can’t keep

Copyright © 2016 Mr. Flying Pig