I feel sorry for what you have gone through. You deserve better. Unfortunately, bad things can happen to good people, and sometimes good people do bad things. It doesn’t always make sense at the time. Although I don’t know all the details of your situation, I would like to offer some advice that I hope will help you through what surely is a difficult time. First and foremost, don’t be angry; don’t be vengeful, or retaliatory. I know you can’t help feeling hurt; your trust was betrayed in the biggest way. But anger, vengeance, and retaliation will only hurt you more. They will eat you up emotionally and could cause you to do things that will only bring regret and more pain into your life. You may not ever be able to forgive, but you should try.
If you can’t bring yourself to forgiveness, you should at least feel pity. Adultery is one of the worst sins a person can commit. God is forgiving, but only to those who are truly mournful for what they have done. If this person is truly sorry, and God is ever to forgive them, they will for the rest of their life, regret the decisions they made that led up to their actions, and caused you this pain. They will forever remember this horrible deed they have done. They will never forgive themselves for what they have forced you to endure, and will for the rest of their days, pray for God’s forgiveness. If not truly sorry, they will never be forgiven by God and the consequences for them will be far more severe than any pain they may have to live with here and now. So pity them. Let them know you feel sorry for them.
If they truly seek your and God’s forgiveness, your marriage will survive. They will never do something like this again, and you will in time, learn to trust them again. Only time will tell; and that’s what you need to give this – time. Time for them to reflect on how badly they hurt and betrayed you, time for the pain inside you to heal, and time for them to eventually be forgiven, if that is truly what they seek. I know what they did hurt you. You deserve better. The path before you now will be difficult, but it must be traveled. In the end, you will be a better person than before this happened. Hopefully, you both will be.
Copyright © 2014 Mr. Flying Pig